My birthday is coming up. Hrmphh. I don't know when I stopped enjoying getting older. I know, I know - I'm not even THAT old (and in 10 years I will look back, shake my head, and say honey, your early thirties are NOT OLD). And I'm not going to be someone who is 29 forever (I remember being very puzzled by this concept at age 7 when my grandfather kept insisting that he was 29) or someone who lies about her age. I'm actually very content with where I am, I think I'm happier and healthier than I was 10 years ago when I was in my early 20s. In fact, I could say this past year was one of my favorites - it started off on the right foot last year when Mr. Sweetie and I celebrated my birthday/anniversary in Ireland and I grabbled a slot to 70.3 Worlds for 2012 and when I got home, my best friend came up for a surprise visit. It continued to be a great year when I got to go to sub-Saharan Africa for the first time (and second and third time) for work. I continued to enjoy my job. We had a fantastic holiday season with family and friends. I've gotten to watch my little cousins and my goddaughter grow and learn new things. I set new PRs in races this season AND, even better, met some awesome training partners who have become some of my favorite people to spend time with. I've never had a life plan or a 5-year plan or anything like that. And honestly, I don't think I could've planned anything better than what life had in store for me - I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be, family-wise, career-wise, hobby-wise, friend-wise. I'm super lucky.
So - that recent aversion I have to birthdays. It's not so much the getting older part (because, let's face it, it is better than the alternative). I feel like I've suddenly become aware that the years are moving faster and faster and I feel like I'm going to blink and be 90. It's not that I want to go back and relive my 20s, there is absolutely NO NEED for that. But I do wish I could go back and whisper to my younger self: don't waste your time in a job you don't enjoy. Don't drift aimlessly for too long. Don't let life pass you by - and don't sit there and think you have forever waiting on you. Find your motivation, find your passion, do what makes you happy, surround yourself with people you love.
I don't know other ways to explain it - I just feel like I'm running out of time. I know I'm not, I should have lots of years ahead of me. I just don't want to waste any moments because I am realizing there are a finite number of them. And once they are gone, I can't get them back.