So instead: Enter Monticelloman 70.3. Guaranteed to have a better run course because I won't be running by the finish line 3 gosh-darn times before I actually get to cross it. And it won't have a long, never-ending uphill because the website advertises it as having "flat stretches mixed with moderate hills." I like moderate hills. They are my friend. Monticelloman is two weeks before the Columbia Tri, leaving adequate time to recover to race again. Mr. Sweetie might even accompany me to the race site - word on the street is that the Charlottesville area has some decent wineries and golf, his two most favorite things after his family and the dog.
Now my early-season race schedule tizzy has finally come to an end.